May 2003

Long have I hoped that Jasper might grace the stomping ground of Thursday Next. When it was announced he would appear at Swindon I was overjoyed. As soon as the programme for the festival appeared, I rang and got tickets. Then the long wait began. (O.K. a month isn’t that long but it was like a kid waiting for Christmas!)

The glorious day finally arrived.

“Who is this bloke we’re going to see?” my husband Trev asked.

I‘ve been trying to get him to read the books since I discovered them. I launched into the hard sell and got one of those, “Quick lock her up with the dried frog pills” looks.

Making sure for the tenth time that day that I had everything - from Corsham the dodo to the tickets - we set off nice and early, arriving with plenty of time to spare. So of course we had a drink in the bar. There was a great atmosphere and a few people admired Corsham. I had to buy another copy of Lost In A Good Book because I didn’t get my original back from someone I lent it to.

We made our way to our seats we waited some more. After a few minutes Naomi, aka Swindonian introduced herself and we chatted for a while. She brought out a proof copy of Well of Lost Plots. You can imagine my surprise and of course the Spanish Inquisition ensued (without the comfy chairs).

Then the moment arrived. The man himself bounded onto the stage beaming from ear to ear. (Jasper talked at about a million miles an hour so forgive me for anything I leave out!) He began by telling us about being the throwback of a family of intellectuals; his parents, brother and sisters are all doctors of one kind or another. Our Jasper decided to work in films. Whilst working on a film called Champions, near Marlborough, he liked what he saw and moved into the area. He worked as a focus puller without advancing his career in order to write for three months of the year.

If you’ve been paying attention and reading Whatever Next you will, of course, know his first four books were not published and followed a nursery story theme. One good example he used was with Dorian Grey as a car salesman whose cars were pristine - at least 20 years old with only seven miles on the clock – but they all had an oil painting of a clapped out, rusty old banger in the boot.

With the theme of the unusual where anything could happen firmly planted in the front of his mind and undaunted by previous failures, the seeds where sown and cultured for his success.

The name Thursday Next comes from his mum saying this instead of "next Thursday".

What if the main character could go anywhere, do anything...and jump in and out of books! What if the arch baddie was hit on the head by a meteorite just at the moment he was going to knobble the hero. It can and does happen.

The original pet Thursday had was an Abyssinian cat called Elmo (my personal favourite breed of cat – this man gets better and better) but was tragically put aside in favour of a dodo. The idea came from Jasper’s love of Lewis Carroll who included a dodo in Alice in Wonderland. Carroll, in turn, had seen one of the last remaining stuffed dodos in the Natural History Museum in Oxford. This, we were informed, was put on a bonfire because it smelt terrible; one quick-witted museum employee rescued a foot and a beak – all which is left of a real dodo in existence. Jasper, whilst on a visit to the museum, asked in the gift shop if he could purchase a “Dodo Cloning Kit”. He was told “Come back in 20 years time”

On Jasper’s recent visit to the USA, Fforumite Magda presented him with a V1.2 Dodo. He was really thrilled by this gesture and touched by the impact State side. The only down turn was the fact Americans didn’t get some of the subtle character names. He enthused about Bowden Cable, Landen Parke-Laine et al.

Jasper read the passage from Lost In A Good Book about the mammoth migration through Thursday’s Mum’s garden. The Spec-Ops agent who berates Mrs. Next for beating “Buttercup” with a broom is named after our great naturalist, Gerald Durrell.

Then it was question time.
Q: How many rejection slips did you get before being published?
A: 76...You can tell if they don’t like the book if you receive a rejection slip that looks as if it’s been photocopied lots of times, is blurred and not straight on the page – the more they don’t like the book, the worse the blurring.
Q. Will we be seeing the Baconites again? (my question)
Jasper: Aah! And where do you stand in the debate?
Me: I’m not prepared to say!
Jasper: Wise choice, this looks like an unpredictable audience. Maybe we will see them but they’ve played their part. Personally I think a bloke called William Shakespeare wrote the plays. It all boils down to intellectuals not accepting that the son of a tradesman was capable of writing such wonderful plays. They had to make out that someone of better breeding was responsible.
Q: How do you know you’ve got a good idea for a book good enough to be published?
A: Sheer luck. When I was filming, and was chatting to a person and told them I wrote books. I was given a phone number of a friend of theirs on a post-it, “She’s just starting up in the business, give her a call.” I did. I sent her the manuscript of my most recent book. She read it – the first time that has happened. “The Eyre Affair” was published. She is still my agent and her name is an anagram of “Finis Hotel” you can work it out. I still have the post-it in a frame on my wall at home.
Q: Who would you like to see play Thursday if the books were made into films?
A: An unknown actor. Then you wouldn’t think of them in another role. I don’t want to sell the copyrights to the books because it would mean that one film company would have the first refusal on any sequels. John Grisham doesn’t use the same character more than once to enable him to hold back on any books he doesn’t want made into films or go to the same film company.

My daughter Jenny (12) stood up (unbidden) and showed him Corsham the dodo. He was quite pleased. He was amazed at how dodos have caught the imagination of the readers. He mentioned Magda's "Alan-the-Dodo" again.

Out came The Well of Lost Plots – a collected gasp! Jasper read a passage about junk FootNoterPhone messages.

Then the talk was over. Lots of applause and a wolf whistle (me, who else would it be?) That was one of the funniest evenings I’ve had in a long while.

Trev was very impressed and is now going to read the books. This must be good, as he is very hard to impress!

Then the mad rush to get the books signed. Down into the foyer, some bloke tried to get in front of me. I wasn’t having any of that! I looked round to see who would do such a thing and it was Jasper. OK, seeing as it was he, I let him through. We were about third in the queue. He was so lovely and friendly. I said I used the Fforum and told him my name. He said I was the first English forum user he’d met but had met Magda and Twila on the American tour.

He signed my books. In The Eyre Affair he wrote “For Jill (mispelling vyrus) 1st Fforumite I’ve met in the UK!” G

In Lost In A Good Book he wrote “For Gill – Jasper”. He signed Corsham’s tail and had his picture taken with her. Being the shy soul that I am, I didn’t have mine taken with him. I asked if Bad Sofa was going to be made into a film in the near future, if it was then he could use all my maps of Chippenham, I almost offered my services to be in the film (I can dream!) Jasper answered that it wasn’t imminent. I thanked him for the great books and said I was very pleased to have met him in person. I shook his hand. I’ll never wash again!

With a final look back and a sigh, the evening was over and off we went.

Come back again next year Jasper. A larger venue and give your loyal followers first chance at the tickets.