Fforde Ffan Poetry June/July 2003      





Sarah Egginton UA of W Cat - a Limerick
by Sarah Egginton aka Sarah
Said the UA of W Cat:
"I used to have mousing off pat,
But I've grown far less vicious
Since I tried Moggilicious –
I'd just prefer not to get fat!"


no photo available Thursday Next
(A Parody of "Anne Boleyn"
by Barbara Bingley)
by ilovespike
Her middle sized feet in large black boots,
They made a clumping sound,
Across the fictional tree roots
In Austen and Dickens’ ground.

Her clenched fists grip so tightly
Upon her sinister gun
Searching round for Hades
Who is hiding, just for fun

She searched around the backstory,
And bowed her head with tears,
And thought of her dear Landen
Her baby, and her fears.

‘O Hades, I will get you.
You must believe I will.
For Thursday Next’s a fighter
And you she’ll gladly kill.’

She slowly stood, with a glint
Of steel in her eye
And went with Rochester and Jane,
For a pint she was to buy

But sitting in the pub with them,
Her mind whizzed rapidly
And formulated many a plan
To get her Landen free

Walking out with her two friends
She spotted another good mate,
Mrs Nakijima it was,
She was sure that this was fate.

So she lamented her cause
To this book-jumping fiend
And asked her to help her get back
Landen, on whom she had leaned.

‘O Hades, I will get you.
You must believe I will.
For Thursday Next’s a fighter
And you she’ll gladly kill.’


Jon Brierley Dodo Song
(from an original by some
Shakespeare feller, as in
Love’s Labour’s Lost)
by Jon Brierley aka Jon

When Hades dwells inside the mind,
And Thursday cannot her husband find,
And Goliath plot to enter books,
And pregnancy destroys her looks,
When danger dogs and ways be wrong,
The Dodo gives his nightly song;
Plock-plock!
Plock-plock! — a merry note,
While Thursday lives in a flying boat.

When into Fiction she must go,
And live in books we'll never know,
And stand her trial for changing plot,
And try to keep that which she has not,
When justice fails and peril looms,
The Dodo sings his nightly tune;
Plock-plock!
Plock-plock! — a merry note,
While Thursday lives in a flying boat.


All American Cutie Fforumites - a Limerick
by Twila Davis Reed aka All American Cutie

The Fforum has grown much of late.
Posts fly by at a quickening rate.
Can't seem to keep up
Ain't gonna give up
Guess I'll just start ignoring my mate!

Nextian Haiku

By Ciarrai
Jasper's Ffans are mad!
Writing haikus 'bout Thursday
Oh dear Lord! How weird!

Inspired by The Eyre Affair

By Red Gryphon
Bookworms are digesting
Words, passing apostrophes.
My po'em lo'ok's we'ird


Thursday stops wedding,
Jane Eyre character helps out.
Isn't that cheating?


Lying man, Jack Schitt
Now he's stuck in Poe's "Raven"
Serves the bastard right.


Jane Jane Thursday called
Jane thought it was Rochester
Better ending now


By Ciarrai
Thursday's Dad's gone rouge
Always dodging Chronoguards
Time waits for no man


Bad Goliath Corp
All you need - cradle to grave
We hate them so much.


Inspired by Lost In a Good Book

By Red Gryphon
Cheshire Cat no more...
Now has another long name.
What was it again?


Cheshire Cat fades out
From his tail to his smile
Arrogant kitty,


Miss Havisham
Cannot drive to save her soul.
Get out of her way!


Where has Landen gone?
He's been eradicated!
Give him back Schitt Hawse!


"Who's my baby's dad?
The real one has been erased.
Whose clothes are these here?"


Mom knows I'm pregnant.
But I didn't tell her yet!
Is it Mom-radar?


Version one point two
She's good rent collateral
Watch out for her egg!


By Ciarrai
Stand on one leg please
For Marshmallow goodness
Plock Plock he replied.


Landen is no more
Whose baby am I having?
Maybe Bowden knows


Mammoths migrating
Murder, Coincidence and Cheese
Watch Out Thursday

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